Saturday, May 4, 2013

Star Wars Day: Part 2

Again, not Pagan or Philosophical. Just more nerdery. It's my birthday... indulge me.

Lines That Sound Dirty In "Star Wars"

* "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
* "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
* "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
* "You've got something jammed in here real good."
* "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
* "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
* "Sorry about the mess..."
* "Look at the size of that thing!"
* "Curse my metal body, I wasn"t fast enough!"
* "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
* "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
* "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
* "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
* "That"s okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
* "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
* "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?"
* "It's possible he came in through the south entrance."
* "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
* "Control, control! You must learn control!"
* "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
* "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."
* "I never knew I had it in me."
* "There is good in him, I've felt it."
* "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
* "Back door, huh? Good idea!"
* "She's gonna blow!"
* "I think you"ll fit in nicely."
* "Rise, my friend."
* "I'm sure he wasn't on that thing when it blew..."
* "Wedge! Pull out! You"re not doing any good back there!"
* "Again you come before us, your highness."
* "At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi."
* "My Lord, is that, legal?" "I will make it legal."
* "Ani? My goodness, you've grown."
* "My Jedi protector will have to prove how good he is."
* "We don't want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor."
* "You remember what you told me... about your mother and the sand people?"
* "General Grievous, you're shorter than I expected."
* "Good relations with the Wookiees, I have."
* "I have waited a looooooong time for this moment, my little green friend..."
* "Lord Vader...rise."

Star Wars Day: Part 1

Not really Pagan or Philosophical, but I wanted to post this here for International Star Wars Day (and my birthday):

Lines from Star Wars that are improved by substituting the word "pants"

1. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.
2. You are unwise to lower your pants.
3. We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.
4. She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.
5. These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.
6. I find your lack of pants disturbing.
7. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.
8. Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!
9. General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.
10. I used to bulls-eye womp-rats in my pants back home.
11. TK-421. . . Why aren't you in your pants?
12. Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.
13. Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.
14. You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.
15. Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off.
16. Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.
17. That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!
18. Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
19. Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.
20. Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially one. Your sister!
21. Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.
22. Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.
23. Attention. This is Lando Calrissean. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.
24. I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
25. You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought
26. We have no choice, our pants can't repel firepower of that magnitude.
27. Great pants kid! Don't get cocky!
28. I happen to like nice pants.
29. A tremor in the Pants. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.
30. Don't try to frighten us with your scorcerer's pants, Lord Vader.
31. Emperor: You have paid the price for your lack of pants!
32. "You know of the rebellion?" "That's how we came to be in your pants sir"
33. Yeah, I just got a funny feeling. Like I'm never gonna see my pants again.
34. I have altered the pants, pray that I don't alter them further.
35. Yahoo! You're all clear kid. Now let's blow these pants and go home!
36. The pants are down! Commence attack on the Death Star's main reactor.
37. Put Captain Solo in the cargo pants.
38. Fear will keep the other systems in line--fear of these pants.
39. Phew! And I thought pants smelled bad... on ... the outside...!
40. Tell them if they don't do as you ask you will becom angry and use your pants.
41. But I was gonna' go down to Toshi Station to pick up some power pants!
42. Sir, my first job was programming binary pants lifters.
43. This little one's not worth the effort. Come, let me get you some pants.
44. I am a Toydarian! Pants do not work on me!