One of the problems with depression is that it's very difficult to explain how you're feeling when it's happening. It's just a heavy sadness that pervades your entire thought process and it's not caused by any specific issue.
But because we are cause-effect creatures, we *think*
it's born of a specific issue and it makes existing issues seem much
worse than they are. Also, depression LIES, but it's hard to see that when you're in the middle of it.
Everyone says you need to "talk it out", but it's very difficult to put
what is roiling about in your depressed head into words that make any
kind of sense. Any attempt at analyzing it results in more paranoia, and
any attempt at explaining it to others runs the risk of being
misunderstood, creating an even bigger problem.
I just want to
disappear into myself, but unfortunately, I'm surrounded by empaths who
get negatively impacted by my own misery. It's a rotten thing for
everyone and I'm so, so sorry.